4 and 30

I have been sitting in our den for almost an uninterrupted hour and literally have not known what to do with myself. I so rarely have this much time just to do whatever I want that is not sleeping. I always laugh that the shower and the toilet are where I have most of my epiphany moments like realizing that I finally have some time to blog. However, even my shower and  potty times are usually in the company of one or two kids. Has anyone ever sat on your lap while you go to the bathroom? It's happened at least twice in the last two months... *sigh* such is the norm when you have one bathroom and two kids, I guess. I do like that I can plop Lucy on the floor of the bathroom to play with the tub toys while I shower, though. That has actually been really nice. She does like her playpen from time to time but when Finn is still asleep, keeping her in with me can assure she will be quieter and know where I am,

Anyway, things have been going well. Finn turned 4 this month and I turned 30. I feel like both he and I age about 6 months before our birthday anyway so I already felt 30 and he already felt 4. But, it is nice to have the formality of the birthday to make it official. Finn has been acting so grown up and certain more negative behaviors have drastically disappeared upon turning to that magical number 4. It might also have to do with our awesome new sticker system (Ali, if you're reading this, it is never to early to start the dots!), which he loves and helps motivate him to be a "good boy". I think now he kind of gets the point of it and understands reward vs. consequence. for example, he gets a sticker for taking a bath (this is an incentive for me too because there have definitely been times when I cannot remember if it has been two or nine days since his last bath... haha oops!) and two stickers if he doesn't cry when getting his hair washed. I don't know what it is, but he refuses to close his eyes, despite the numerous reminders and positive encouragement from both Brett and I to do so, thus resulting in a less than happy bath time. He has gotten much better. A few weeks ago he came out from his bath and said, "hey dad! I get two stickers cuz I didn't cry when mom washed my hair!" It's the little things... He's also shown more interest in helping with chores and he's just all around growing up; it's adorable. But, he is still trying to find a balance since he gets jealous of the type of attention we show Lucy since she is still a baby so he will try and snuggle us more, which we both love. Speak of the devil look who's up! (He tried to get up at 5:15 and it is now 8:15...)

Along with Finn becoming a big boy, Lucy has also learned like 3 new skills right in a row...Not only can she crawl, but 6 days later, was pulling herself up to stand, and long with that, has climbed onto the hearth and trying to scoot along the couch but is still nervous about that. Holy smokes, chica, too fast! I wasn't thinking she'd walk until around a year but with that little spurt, I wouldn't be surprised if it's around 9 or 10 months! She cracks me up sometimes, like when she wants to be picked up, flaps her arms and pants like a dog. Or when someone else is holding her and she sees me, will kick her legs in excitement; it's very cute 😊

Ok, so my turn. I know Brett turned 30 too, but that was a long time ago so he's been old for a while now. Haha... but really, I thinking with him being in the same profession for 5+ years (and the same school!), finishing his Masters, excelling in running, he has really established himself as an "adult". I've been all over the place with jobs and careers and hobbies that who even knows whats happening next. Plus adding mom to the list, well, I have had to get really comfortable with change and being flexible.

That being said, I am very happy with where I am now. There were a few days there that I wasn't sure it was for me and questioning if I was even good at my job. I have stopped asking the question, "do I want to do this forever?" because I never know the answer other than mom is about the only one for sure, and I am ok with that. So for now, whether that is 2 years or 20 years, I am happy with my job. It is tough, don't get me wrong, but it is the type of interaction with kids that makes sense to me. There are only 7 kids in the class, all with their own little behavior or academic issues that can still make it feel like a classroom full of 30 kids, but with only 7, I can really work more 1 on 1 with the students and building a relationship that they trust. A lot of these kids struggle with at least reading, but other subjects too, so they respond by being known as the "naughty" kid, instead of the "dumb" kid.

This job is also an exercise in patience. Like, sometimes, these kids don't back down. They know what they want and their tunnel vision game is STRONG. Nothing I can say sometimes will get through until they can finally deescalate and we can really talk through the root of the issue. To be honest, it's fascinating sometimes. And just they way that some of these kids talk to adult. Um, totes rude. But, sometimes they are super sweet and genuinely hilarious! You have to always be on your toes in this class and that's why we are there. And that's why I really like this job.